Based on several excellent comments received from our readers (and a few rantings from our staff), I have updated the Geek Sheet format for several of our most popular wines and I have created a guide to help explain the…

Well, FWIW, I’m just not sure there’s desirable equity in telling the consumer how much like vinegar their wine smells and tastes. It’s like putting a guage on a gallon of milk indicating how spoiled the milk inside is. No matter how unspoiled it really is, the net result is that you’d be telling the consumer that the contents are spoiled, if only a very little bit. That’s a deal-breaker. I’m putting that one back on the shelf and buying the brand right next to it — one which may in fact be more spoiled, but is kind enough not to tell me.

All in favor of a change of descriptors there.

El Jefe’s idea of using terms like battery acid and drano are funny as hell, IMO. I’d have to assume the overall brand is pretty irreverent with an approach like that. If so, then that’s a match made in heaven. It communicates the sensation it needs to. It’s absurd enough that people will get it as a joke. And it’s graphic enough to have *a lot* of fun with.

Unfortunately the three acid measurements can’t be meaningfully rolled into one gauge. pH mainly affects color, how inhospitable the wine is to microbes, and is a general measure of the environment that the wine is living in. Titratable acidity is the acid that causes bitterness on the palate. Volatile acidity is a measure of how much like vinegar the wine smells and tastes. Since they are all so different, no real aggregate number can be fashioned.

There are assays for tannins (the Adams assay) but unless a winemaker is doing test trials or is just curious by nature, it isn’t one of the staples of in-house lab work. However now that Vinquiry (a winery lab service company) is offering Adams assays it might become more popular.

Great questions. Hope you check back in soon.

Knowing very little about wine chemistry, but a fair amount about wine in general, the bottom two guages seem the least informative to me. I can get my head around soft/crisp. I have a hard time with the term “wine” as one of the descriptors, however. After all, you’re trying to help people understand what this particular wine tastes like, not wine in general. I also am not sure the term “salad dressing” is a desirable characteristic in a wine. I understand there’s a sense of humor at play, but “salad dressing” actually sounds plausible and I don’t get the sense that it’s used in humor. As for pH, there are no descriptors for it at all as there are with the top two.

So here’s a question: can acidity in wine (pH, titratable, and volatile) all be rolled into a single “acidity” guage to simplify the idea for the consumer?

What about guages for body? Or tannin? Or are those subjective interpretations, rather than measurable data points?

This blog post posts posts from other blogs. Stuff you might want to read. Or not. First, Josh over at Pinotblogger has some excellent comments (and just a tad of trash talk on our new Geek Sheet format. If…

1. Yes, absolutely: I saw your post and ran with it. It was something I was knocking around for a while and planned to roll out with the next round of vintages - in other words, after crush. Your post definitely tipped my hand, so I felt I needed to get it out sooner. I do appreciate the kick in the pants, OM!

2. The words have so far failed us regarding useful terms for VA, so we opted for Plan B: attempt humor. We are very open to suggestions!

3. We missed one by not labelling pH as “battery acid” and “Drano”. I still might…

4. I also planned to publish a quick guide to the graphs and what the ranges mean. Stay tuned.

5. Actually, the white blend is %@#$! and the red blend is *%#&@! Note that both can be nouns or verbs, but they do not rhyme….:)

6. In regards to wet tshirts, I’d be happy to!

cheers! - El Jefe

ps: Isle of Wight?